Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
