so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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