so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
