just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
