they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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