Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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