we have pet lesbian snakes
Apparently you make a good broom.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
