I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
