Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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