she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
