Me too!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
