There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
