one might say we're banned from that church
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
