He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
