I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
