I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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