youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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