Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
