I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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