just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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