I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
