I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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