This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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