Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Never underestimate the power of titties
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