he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
