in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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