Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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