I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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