is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So here I am, sexting at work.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
