I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
