Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
