Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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