there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
