I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
