I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
