I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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