Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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