by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm getting married
To pizza
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
