He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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