so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
