So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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