Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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