I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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