And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
