how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
