Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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