We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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