your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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