so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
