There was a lot of him and a little penis
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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