I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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