Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
