he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
