Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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