i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
