That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
